By Laurence Wilson
Blue Falcon was down on his luck
Supped in a bar with that aggravating pup
Known to you and I as Scrappy-Doo
They’d have a drink or two and watch Penelope Pitstop
Beep Pop with Keyop from G-Force
And of course they’d get real drunk
And slap around Clunk, who never could catch that pigeon.
Then Blue Falcon would say, “I’ll be back in a smidgen.”
And disappear into the back kitchen
To be hitchin’ up the bra of one fine and fancy She-Ra
So that he could bury his head between her 2Ds.
Whilst Captain Caveman’s prehistoric fleas
Would sail in on a breeze and tell tales
of Captain Pugwash’s escapades on the high seas.
Back in the bar Scrappy-Doo
Would chew off the ear of that old dear, Flo
who was auntie to Bod.
While PC Plod trod on the toes
of all the foes, who ever faced Batfink and Karate
Until Peppermint Patty strolled in and hit him in the chin
Drank a slim Jim and dumped them in the dustbin.
Dogtanian would employ a camera man
to capture the whole thing on celluloid
And feed it to the yellow droid
Known to all as 1-Rover-1.
And when all is said and done
Blue Falcon would come back in the bar
With a faraway look in his eyes
Eat one of Desperate Dan’s cow pies
Head for the door and say his goodbyes.
And that’s how it will always end
Why don’t you come along next time?
And bring an animated friend.